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Think of negotiating as a GAME. It takes skill too. A good Chess Player practices & knows their opponent after a round or two.
Negotiating includes influencing others. Self negotiation can be and usually is too emotional.
The other party may not need to know your emotional investment. This is why doctors and lawyers rarely represent themselves or work on family members.
Communicate in the other persons frame of reference.
Negotiation words are powerful. Instead of saying" I made a mistake" Say: "I made an Error". Why __________________ _
Social actions immerse you in a emotional relationship. You need to "Detach" in order to negotiate non-emotionally.
Your perspective needs to be from a distance or you can mis-judge a situation.
When people avoid negotiation they are trying to diffuse or confront rather that a joint gain.
With this, try to dampen the urge to be adversarial. Pick your battles so to speak.
Negotiation is voluntary decision making.
Your task is to get someone from No to YES. Reluctance to communicate. What do you do?
If you're too good, look too distinguished they will expect you to make concessions. Why ... Because they feel they are in a losing position so the don't care/cant care "that much". Give them an upper hand or superior feeling so they have the "perception" of control at a minimum.
Commonality. All parties are attempting to satisfy their needs. It deviates because of personal experiences we don't know about. The "actor" only knows those
We see things as "we are". Be super aware of others wants and needs.
Negotiation is NOT about taking charge. A negotiation will break down quickly when someone "tells" rather than "questions".
Time allows one to gather information, which is a prime ingredient for negotiating.
Influencing the behavior of another requires you to KNOW their POV, Their World.
Are we a bargaining culture ? How does that affect the "walk away" perspective ?
Speaking too often or clamoring for your plight makes the perception to others that they hold something in "demand". Continued attention can work against you.
Altar the way others look at things or the situation so they will "WIN".
Emotion obscures the truth/object/goal. Discuss ____________ _
Strive to have the perspective of an "outsider".
Effective negotiation = balance. Care, "but not thaaatt much" ;)
YOU are a problem solver. See it through their eyes.